Brief Descriptions of People I Dislike:

Memoirs of the Severely Cynical

Posts tagged mohawks

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The amatuer rocker

It was open mic night over at the Commons building on campus, and I was in line to get food long enough to hear a female duet sing their cover of some chick song that left absolutely no impression on me. This isn’t to say the two giggling coeds weren’t any good, but rather that, despite knowing the song well enough to anticipate the lyrics, I find myself entirely unable to recall a single verse as I sit here and type this.

On my way to sit down with my late-night meal, I almost collided with the next performer as he rushed to the stage, cream-colored electric guitar in hand. He looked young and unfamiliar—a sophomore or, more likely, a freshman. His hair was pink and cut into one of those off-centered, no-gel mohawks. The entire style makes me believe that somewhere, someone with enough influence to set a trend was once horribly misinformed as to the nature of comb overs and tried to engineer their exact inverse. To me, the result looks more like a sad little curtain of shame to hide the eyes of anyone unfortunate enough to stumble into the look.

To be entirely honest at this point, the hair, while grotesquely fascinating in its own right, is no where near a unique or standalone feature at my university. What made me remember this young chap was the fact that, despite only just sitting down to eat when he took the stage, I was never able to hear him perform a single note. After setting up, the guy stepped up to the microphone and started trying to explain his music, as though he needed some sort of a disclaimer. I’m not a fast eater, and he was still mumbling to the audience when I threw my trash out and left.

The whole thing seemed uncharacteristic of someone with fabulously dyed hair. Aren’t they supposed to more assertive and out-going? It made me suspect that his fashion was the result of a lost bet, which made me incredibly sad for some reason. I can only imagine the burden of being forced to wear a salmon pink scalp curtain.

Filed under mohawks amatuer rock open mic night